Nothing much changed since Kim joined X-hunters. The team still gets together every third evening to discuss news, they still go out to drink after every race, they still hang around the garage and most importantly, they still spend the majority of their free time together. Sure, Babe is no longer grumpy and Alan now leaves with Jeff, but that hardly has anything to do with Kim. Yet, at the same time, everything changed. Sonic and North are no longer Sonic and North. Now they are Sonic, North, and Kim.
Kim has quickly taken to helping them with the channel, he is even steadier than North when it comes to holding the camera and he easily charms his way into the hearts of their audience. Soon, people ask about him when he doesn't participate in a vlog and everyone compliments how quickly he became a solid part of the team.
Sonic is happy about it, truly, he is. It would suck if there was a divide in the team because of their new member and he would feel uncomfortable if he had to reign in his personality around anyone in the team. Truly, Kim is the perfect addition to X-hunters.
Maybe too perfect.
At first, Sonic thought his discomfort stemmed from a place of concern. Is it not too soon to add another member after everything that happened? Wouldn’t they have to fill the hole that Dean and Way left? How could anyone live up to the standard Way’s racing and Dean’s personality set? Wouldn’t they expect too much of that new person?
Except Kim blended into the team perfectly. He not only adapted immediately to the strategies of the team, but he also helped perfect and complete them in a way not even Babe and Way’s ten-year-long friendship had been able to. Kimis able toget his car to speeds Way never dared to even attempt, he cuts corners almost as effortlessly as Babe himself and he is the most ruthless of them all. For someone as kind as him he shows no mercy on the track and shies away from no legal trick. He is rule-abiding to a fault, a contrast to Deanthat theteam welcomes gratefully after everything that happened.
On top of that, he easily won over the entire team. He laughs with North and is silent with Jeff, he is serious with Alan and playful with Charlie,heis lenient with Babe and kind to Sonic. Heis able tocater to all of their needs without faking his personality. There is nothing not to love about Kim and no reason why Sonic should be unhappy about having him as a new team member. Most of the time he isn’t. And yet…
It would be a lie if Sonic said Dean’s anger didn’t make him think. Essentially, he and North are in the same position as Dean. They are junior racers, they get far fewer opportunities to shine than Babe or Way, and they are not the focus of the team. It drove Dean crazy and led him to take drastic measures. Sonic never cared. It was Dean’s last straw when Charlie was immediately allowed to take over for Babe as a senior racer, rather than starting as a junior racer. Sonic never cared. Kim and Charlie took over for Way and Sonic knew it would have angered Dean. Yet, Sonic never cared. Does he not take this life seriously enough?
He is well aware that North and Sonic are considered the jokesters of the team, yet they both are always serious when it comes to racing. But are they serious enough? Is it enough to practice according to their schedule and drive seriously? Or should they strive for more like Dean did? Should they fight to be moved up? Should Sonic?
He was always content with his role in the team. Especially once Alan entrusted the PR responsibilities to North and Sonic. Sonic never had more fun than when they filmed vlogs around the garage and hosted live streams during races. When he worked with North.
Now, he watches North film a video with Kim. It’s an interview, Sonic knows, he helped North think of questions after all. Kim drove his first race under X-hunter colours and their fans expressed curiosity about it. Sonic watches longingly as North laughs and throws his head back in response to a witty answer Kim gives. Sonic hasn’t seen North laugh like that since Dean betrayed them. Nothing he tried worked. And now Kim, who has known North for mere months, brought the laugh Sonic loves so much back.
Sonic is shaken out of his trance when Alan lightly taps his shoulder. “Could you and North do me a favour, please?” Sonic looks up questioningly but nods lightly. Alan quickly glances at North and Kim before leaning and down and whispering in Sonic’s ear. “It’s Kim’s birthday next week. I thought we should celebrate that properly since it’s his first birthday here. Would you and North be willing to organize that?” It’s by no means an uncommon request. The duo has organized many birthday parties for the team before and they’re the closest to Kim out of the team, therefore Sonic simply nods. “Sure, uncle.” After all, he genuinely likes Kim and is glad to have him as a friend. He wants the new racer to have a great birthday party. And if he selfishly looks forward to an opportunity to spend some alone time with North, well, then Alan doesn’t need to know that.
When Kim waves him over, Sonic quickly joins the two and lets himself be sucked into the tsunami that is Kim.
_____
“We should make a vlog out of that”, is the first thing that North says when Sonic informs him about Alan’s request. They sit together on North’s bed in the room that Alan gave to him. Even though Tony is dead, Dean is in prison, they have a restraining order against Winner, and truly nothing to fear anymore, they still live together in Alan’s house. No one wanted to be the one to suggest they move out so the entire team has settled into the house. When it was clear that Kim would be a permanent resident, they even convinced Kenta to move in as well.
Sonic tries not to dwell on those changes too much. It would probably drive him crazy if he thought about the person who scared him months ago living down the corridor now. Kenta is a quiet person. He rarely talks, Kim thinks it’s because he carries a lot of guilt. It’s cute, Sonic thinks, how infatuated Kim is with Kenta. When North, Sonic, and Kim hang out he will often talk about Kenta, about the progress the two made in their relationship, about Kenta settling in, about Kenta’s outfit,quiteliterally about anything Kenta. Sometimes, Sonic longs to have a love like that.
North nudges his shoulder and Sonic startles before glaring at him. “You were spaced out for a second. So, vlog?” Sonic hesitates before nodding. As much as a camera in their face would ruin their one-on-one time, he knows how important it is to film content and how much North adores filming. And it would make a great video, Sonic knows that. Their fans love anything that shows them off the track, just them existing as normal people. And they especially love to see Kim, their former rival, becoming one of them. Filming Kim’s birthday party truly would tick all the boxes.
“Sure, sounds good”, Sonic agrees and North beams at him. In that moment, Sonic knows he made the right choice and that he would make that choice over and over again. “It’s ten”, North says and stretches his arms in the air before draping them over Sonic’s shoulders. It’s a friendly gesture and Sonic tries his hardest to ignore the way his skin lights on fire under North’s touch. It shouldn’t make him as stupidly happy that North remembers and enforces their ten pm rule, Sonic is well aware of that, yet it still makes him feel special. They set that rule forever ago, back when they first started posting videos and drowned under the pressure of filming and editing regularly. No work after ten pm. That includes not filming, not editing, and not talking about either, including content. Of course, that doesn’t include special events that last longer and need to be filmed, but the general rule has served them well.
They settle in comfortably to watch a movie. North had picked it out days ago and convinced Sonic to watch it with him.In order tokeep somepretenceup, Sonic had acted as if he didn’t want to watch the movie when in truth he would watch the most boring,lacklustrecreation the universe has ever seen if it meant spending time with North.Watching movies with North is always fun. North is noisy and has opinions on anything, he pauses the movies they watch at the most incredulous times to point outa detail in the background and Sonic loves it. He is so used to North’s comments that he genuinely misses them when he watches a movie by himself or with anyone else. They hardly ever go to the movies as neither enjoy the silence, but Sonic can’t make himself miss it too much. He’d trade the large screen for a single comment by North in a heartbeat.
____
When they leave to go shopping for Kim’s partymeretwo days later, Sonic is equipped with a shopping list, and North with a handy little camera. Sonic immediately recognizes it as North’sfavouritevlog camera. He insists that its small size in combination with the clear videos is ideal for any kind of moving video. Cameras are one of North’s greatest passions and there are few things Sonic enjoys more than listening to him ramble on about the qualities that set them apart. North tends to talk a lot but he’s most expressive when he talks about the things he loves. He talks about them in a way that Sonic comes to love them as well.
“It has to be absolutely perfect”, Sonic reminds North once more. Alan had not stopped reminding him that Kim’s first birthday partyneedsto be a success, that theyneedto do everything to make Kim feel welcome and encourage him to stay with X-hunters for a long time. As if Sonic’s pride would allow him to settle for anything less.
“I have no doubts it’ll be, you’re the best party planner there is”, North reassures him as he starts the engine. “You spent long enough interviewing him about his favourite”, North pauses for a second, “well, his favourite everything.” Sonic wonders if the hint of jealousy in North’s voice is a fragment of his imagination. After all,Northhas no reason to be jealous. After all, North is the one who spends all his free time with Kim rather than Sonic. Sonic only spent more time than usual with him to ask strategic questions about the party. “At least we know what to get now”, Sonic states matter-of-factly. “Let’s hit the decorations store first.”
Once they enter the store, North immediately ventures to the check-out station to ask theemployeeif they’re allowed to film in the store. Sonic begins to look around the store, not paying North any mind, until he hears an excited gasp.
“Aren’t you the one who makes X-hunters’ videos?” The employee looks at North, then at the camera in his hands, and back at North. “I love your content!” North beams right back at her, mirroring the excitement she showcases and smiling even brighter. “Yes, that’s me. Thank you!” Sonic watches the interaction with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he is just as ecstatic as North to meet a fan, on the other he’s unable to push the sadness away that they once again only get recognized for filming videos, not for being racers.
The foreign feeling creeps from his heart through his veins until it chokes him. He never felt like that before. He was always proud of their videos, proud to be a face of X-hunters that way, proud to shine next to North. Are those feelings truly his own or just an echo Dean left?
Finally, North throws an arm around Sonic’s shoulder and effectively melts the ice that begins to form in Sonic’s throat with his warmth. “We can film here, let’s go.” They settle into their routine easily. They walk through the store, picking out items that they deem suitable for their concept, and alternate between filming and chatting.
Sonic is almost a minute into his ramble about Kim’sfavouritecolour- light blue - and how it fits perfectly into the team when he notices North’s glare. It’s not directed at him, per se, Sonic can easily tell this expression apart from North’sangryglare, yet North’s gaze doesn’t leave Sonic for even a second.
“Are you okay?” Sonic asks, concerned for his friend and confused about the unknown expression. “Sure. I’m just a bit surprised you can go on so long about a singular colour. You must’ve listened to Kim very intensely.” It’s not accusatory yet Sonic feels like he made a mistake. “Of course I did. It’s his party we’re planning after all, of course I need to listen to his preferences.” North hums, yet the glare doesn’t disappear. “Whatever you say. So, the flag garland is a yes?” Instead of answering, Sonic throws the blue garland consisting of small, blue, triangle-shaped flags in their cart.
The trips to the other stores they shop in follow a similar pattern. Sonic picks out food, drinks, and decorations he deems fitting while North films and gives his input once in a while. When Sonic talks too long about one topic concerning Kim, he is punished by North’s glare. It’s unfamiliar yet not uncomfortable, nothing with North ever is.
“Where will we hide everything so that Kim doesn’t find it?” North asks and for a second it makes Sonic halt in his step. That is something he hasn’t considered at all yet. Months ago, when they all lived separately, that would’ve been easy. But now, that they all share a house and often spend time in one of their rooms? It’s close to impossible. The only one who locks their room routinely is Kenta. Sonic considers it for a moment before he remembers that the only one with access to Kenta’s room besides its owner is the very person they want to hide their groceries from.
“We could ask Pete if he’ll store them for us?” Even after everything the team went through, Pete is still a mystery to Sonic. Sure, he knows the basics. Pete sponsors X-hunters, he grew up with Kenta, was one of Tony’s adopted sons,hada thing for Way, is filthy rich, doesn’t live with the rest of the team, and helped everyone tremendously when everything went down. But beyond that? Pete has no reason to interact with either North or Sonic. He is busy enough with Kenta, Jeff, Babe, Charlie, and the many children he’s retrieving from their buyers. Pete and Kenta work relentlessly on it, vowing to never stop until the very last child is brought to safety. Doing all that, he has no time for the others. He is kind enough when anyone talks to him, yet he is quiet and distant, never the one to start a conversation unless the one he’s talking to is Kenta.
They have never been to his house and only visited his company one time when the team attended some sort of event to celebrate their successful sponsorship. The way to the company is intimidating, yet they see no other way to resolve their situation. Once they reach recognizable areas around the company, North turns the camera off. It’s probably for the best, their fans have no idea about the complicated history they share with their sponsor. As far as Sonic is concerned, it’s better to keep it that way.
When they walk into the large building they are already prepared to wait for a long time, just as Alan once had. After all, their request is nothing important and doesn’t require attention quickly. Yet, they barely manage to sit down after they introduce themselves to Pete’s secretary before they’re called into Pete’s office. It’s large and bright, tastefully decorated and the furniture looks comfortable. Pete wears the same dark blue suit he always wears as he stands up and closes the door after them.
“What a nice surprise”, Pete smiles kindly at them, “to what do I owe this visit?” He settles back down on his chair and gestures to the duo to do the same. “I hope we’re not bothering you”, Sonic speaks up after they sit down, “we just have a small request.” Pete nods and closes the notebook in front of him. “You’re never a bother. I told you already, I’m always happy to help you guys.”
“Well, you see, it’s Kim’s birthday next week and we bought a bunch of stuff to decorate”, Sonic starts before North takes over, “and now we have no place to store them. Kim lives with us, after all.” Pete nods before breaking into a huge grin. “And now you want me to store it?” Both nod in affirmation. “I’mhonouredyou trust me with that. If you can keep it for another”, Pete quickly glances at his watch, “two to three hours we can go to my house together and store it. If that’s too long though feel free to just put everything in front of my door.”
“Just like that?” Sonic asks suspiciously which makes Pete tilt in confusion. “Why not? I have enough space and I want to help.” Pete’s genuine kindness relaxes them both and they’re finally able to settle into the cushioned chairs comfortably. “We’re good with waiting, we have nothing much to do”, Sonic finally says and North nods along. “There’s one more thing,” North starts and waits for Pete to nod inacknowledgement, “will you come to the party?”
For a few seconds, Pete seems genuinely taken aback. “You want me there?” he asks and Sonic gets a glimpse behind the professional exterior of the CEO and an insight into the child that has been broken by Tony just as all the others have.
“Of course”, North reassures him while Sonic nods expressively. “We’re even roping Kenta in coming”, Sonic winks as if he’s sharing the biggest secret humanity has. “You want Kenta to come to a party?” Pete asks and neither can deny that this would be a perfectly normal response if it wasn’t for a small detail. “It’s Kim’s party. If he’ll come to any, it’s this one.”
Eventually, their chatting quiets down and Pete offers them a secluded space in the company while he finishes up his work. North and Sonic quicklyagreeand busy themselves by editing the new material they filmed that day. It's a familiar routine, yet it’s great fun for the two of them. They start by sorting out unusable material, which takes much longer than Sonic anticipated. Usually North argues even for the blurriest shots to be kept, but this time he is the one who suggests to trash many clips Sonic deems perfectly fine. Notably, they’re all clips during which Sonic could feel North’s glare on him.
As promised, Pete comes to fetch them barely two hours later. He refuses to answer when they ask if he cut his work short, which to Sonic is answer enough and he makes a mental note to invite Pete to pack events more often. He suspects that Pete is just as lonely as Kenta used to be. As lonely as Kenta still regularly forces himself to be.
Pete’s house truly is big enough to store all of their purchases, Sonic notes as North pulls into the driveway behind Pete. The house only furthers his worry that Pete might be lonely. How does one live in such a large mansion while being all alone? And knowing that the person one cares about most lives together with a group of people? Sonic doesn’t even want to imagine what Pete must feel like.
They end up spending a lot of time at Pete’s place. North and Sonic both space out stocking their groceries as much as possible as if they agreed upon it beforehand. Sonic thinks North senses the same loneliness as he does and if there’s one person who hates loneliness more than Sonic it’s North. Even when they’re done they make no attempts of leaving and Pete doesn’t seem to want them out of his hair either. Instead, he offers them soft drink after soft drink and indulges their chatter. He listens carefully and throws in a comment at the perfectmoments. They even manage to get Pete to talk about his life and interests. Sonic notices sadly how much of his life revolves around defeating Tony and rectifying his mistakes. He vows that very moment to include Pete in as many of the pack activities as possible.
____
“Do you think we should race more?” Sonic asks in the silence. It’s late in the evening, he’s lying next to North and they both should be sleeping.In fact,Sonic has no guarantee that North is still awake, his uneven breath the only indicator. His mind refuses to quiet down though and he doubts it will let him sleep if he doesn’t voice his concern once and for all.
“Are you not happy with the way things are right now?” It’s a loaded question, one Sonic doesn’t have an answer to. “I am. I think. I just can’t help but wonder if I should be. It’s not what we wanted from life, is it?” Sonic thinks back to the time when the duo first joined X-hunters. They were both barely eighteen but made up for their young age in passion. Upon meeting for the first time after being cast they immediately hit it off. Everyone soon joked that they only joined the team to find each other. Sometimes, Sonic thought that to be true as well. Ever since he joined, there was no day he didn’t spend with North. They practiced together, ate together, played together, anything one can think of. They grew together and fought together, they didn’t want to succeed without the other anymore. Most importantly, they dreamed together. They wanted to become the most successful racer duo there ever was. They were never as good apart as together which eventually made Alan give up on trying to train them separately. They started the YouTube channel together. No matter who came and went, it was always North and Sonic against the world.
“It isn’t”, North agrees and Sonic can hear the hesitation in his voice, “but it’s pretty damn good, isn’t it?” Maybe that’s the biggest problem. It’s so close to the life he wanted, yet it’s miles apart. “Who cares if we’re the biggest racer duo the world has ever seen? Now we’re the best YouTube duo the world has ever seen.” It’s easy to get lost in the undeniable pride in North’s voice and Sonic easily recognizes that North is giving him the perfect out. He can just agree and drop the topic. Yet, he doesn’t.
“Doesn’t it bother you? Everyone’s a great driver while we’re the same as we were two years ago. No one sees us as X-hunters’ racers, we’re just the PR team to everyone.” As soon as he utters the words he wishes he could take them back. It’s far too truthful and vulnerable. But now they’re out in the open, the truth hanging over the two of them like heavy clouds. Sonic just hopes that North’s response won’t turn them into a thunderstorm.
“It doesn’t. I’m proud of everything we’re doing. Of us. Aren’t you?” Sonic closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I am. Of course I am. I just wonder if I should want more.” He can feel North’s hand slowly wandering over the bed and then his arm before he interlocks their fingers. “If you do, I will do everything to help you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, remember, it’s North and Sonic against the world.” Sonic squeezes North’s hand gently. “North and Sonic against the world.” With the thought in mind and North’s warmth surrounding him, Sonic drifts asleep.
____
When Kim first joined, there was some concern that he would be arrogant or rude, just as theyknowhis former teammates to be. They quickly discovered that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, Kim is incredibly competitive but this is a given in their sport. If they weren’t competitive their name wouldn’t be greatly respected in the racing world.
Training with Kim is always great fun, Sonic thinks. He challenges Sonic to get better by employing new tactics Alan hadn’t even thought of and by creating an incredibly relaxed and fun environment. He even encourages Sonic to train without North by his side. No one thought Sonic or North could be good without each other’s support which Kim saw as a challenge and immediately took to it. He began to make them train separately and truly, Sonic can tell how much he’s improved. He’s almost as good alone now as he is with North. It helps him fall in love with the sport all over again.
Once he brings his car to a halt and gets out, he’s immediately greeted byKimrapid-firing feedback at him. It’s helpful and Sonic appreciates the input, even though he wishes Kim would let him take a breather first. This time, he can’treallyfocus on the things that Kim is saying anyway. He’s too distracted by the glare he feels once again on his skin. It’s North staring him down with the same expression he had during their shopping trip.
Once Kim finally ends his rant, North steps closer to them. “Had fun?” North asks and Sonic can’t help but notice the underlying fierceness in his voice. Sonic chooses to ignore it and simply nods happily. “I did, Kim helped me quite a lot.”
“I’m sure he did.” Once again, there’s anger in his voice. Sonic can’t quite place it, after all, he’s done nothing to warrant North’s wrath. Or has he? There’s nothing Sonic can think of, if anything they’ve become even closer after their chat that night. He doesn’t want to bring it up next to Kim though so he simply bumps his shoulder into North’s. That usually cheers him up. And indeed, he cracks a small smile before glaring at Kim and pulling Sonic away.
“What’s with you today?”Sonic asks once they finally come to a stop. “Nothing. I just thought you need a reminder who your training partner actually is. Or is it Kim and Sonic against the world now?” Sonic just stares at North incredulously. “You can’t actually be serious. He’s just helping me out. I thought you wanted me to get better.”
“I did. I do. I just didn’t think it would mean leaving me behind.” There’s still anger in North’s voice but he’s calmer now that they are alone. “Are you angry that we’re not on the same level anymore?” And how could Sonic have forgotten this? It only makes sense that North’s furious, after all, he must feel like Sonic is selfishly and greedily neglecting him.
“I’m not. You could be better than Kim and Babe combined while I stay where I am and it wouldn’t matter to me.” North’s voice shakes slightly and Sonic wants nothing more than to embrace him and calm him down. He doesn’t. “Then what is it?” he asks instead. “I want to be with you as you improve.” The confession is whispered yet so powerful that Sonic has to take a step back. “I don’t want to stand on the sidelines of your new life.”
“There’s no life I could live that doesn’t have you in its centre, North.” It hits him right there and then just how much truth those words carry. No matter what, North is always front andcentrein all his thoughts, every plan he makes includes North,everydiscovery he makes he wants to share with North. He can’t imagine a life without North in it. He doesn’t want to imagine one.
“Careful”, North says teasingly, “if you’re not careful it’ll sound like you’re about to confess to me.” It’s clear that North means it as a way to ease the tension and it would do just that if it wasn’t so painfully true. Sonic has nurtured that ridiculously big crush for years now without it ever being reciprocated. He’s learned to live with it and the knowledge that North can never be his in the way he wants him to. No matter how much they joke around, how affectionate they are, and how much everyone around them teases them for it, they’ll never be. Sonic has learned how to be North’s friend without hoping for more.
“As if”, he replies to continue the joke. “I would never fall in love with you.” It’s a shameless lie, he fell years ago, but it’s a lie he is willing to continue to live. He’d rather have North as his best friend than not have him at all. What’s the difference between friends and boyfriends anyway? They’re the most important person to each other, they do everything together,theyshare a special bond - truly, they are everything Babe praises Charlie to be.
“You’re the one who should be careful, people might think you’re jealous.” Oh and how Sonic wants North to be jealous. How much he wishes to have North’s attention that way. How he wishes that North would show everyone that Sonic belongs to him. Except he doesn’t.
“Maybe I was, who knows?” North throws his arm around Sonic’s shoulder and steers them to the kitchen. “Let’s get something to eat, you must be starving after suchan intensetraining.” It’s one way North loves as Sonic has discovered years ago. When others give presents or compliments, North will stuff the stomach of the one he cares for.
_____
“Hang it higher, no one can see that”, Sonic instructs as North hangs up the garland. It’s the afternoon before Kim’s birthday and Kenta has been tasked to take Kim out. The pure joy on Kim’s face when Kentaaskedhim out almostmadeSonic sad to use it as a decoy, but he consoles himself with the knowledge that Kim will enjoy the date all the same. It’s good for Kenta too as he rarely spends time at any place that isn’t Alan’s house or the garage. It’s perfect and suits everyone. Everyone but North, of course, who has to take the garland down and put it back up for the third time now.
“It’s fine where it is, Sonic”, he grumbles but follows the command nonetheless. They’re the perfect team in many instances and decorating the garage for a birthday party seems to be one of those instances. Sonic’s creative visions and North’s willingness to create those visions make them undefeatable. “It’s fine there, but it would be perfect higher up.”
Ignoring North’s complaints, Sonic moves on to set up the buffet. It’s the part of the decorations that they spent the most time considering. After all, it needs tofulfiltwo criteria: it needs to be aesthetically pleasing and full of food and drinks that Kim enjoys. The second topic presents itself to be an issue. Kim, nice and easygoing as he is, has rarely voiced not liking a certain food. He is a bit too much like Kenta in that regard, Sonic thinks annoyed, they’re both too happy to go along with the wishes of other people. How they evercome to a conclusion betweenthe two of them is truly a mystery to Sonic. Therefore, they settled on mainly filling the buffet with snacks that require not many utensils, both Thai and Korean. Sonic thinks the combination would help feel Kim truly at home, after all, a special occasion would likely be the moment when he misses his family most.
“Leave the food and drinks in the fridge for now”, North calls over. It’s probably a smart idea, given that it’s still the day before Kim’s birthday and the actual party won’t start before the afternoon, but it still disgruntles Sonic who wants to see his vision come to life. “Let me just test it out first, I’ll put them back afterwards.” North rolls his eyes but ultimately helps Sonic to get his way.
Working together, they quickly manage to set the table up. Sonic keeps readjusting the plates and bottles, never quite happy with the setup. His eye for perfection truly won’t allow him to ignore the mismatched blues or the clashing snacks. After a few minutes, however, not even he finds anything to complain about and he quickly takes many pictures to be able to recreate it the next day.
“Let’s put everything away now and go home”, Sonic finally mutters and North immediately complies. First, they put the various bottles containing both alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks away. Sonic is carrying a bottle of rum as he turns too quickly and collides with North’s chest.
For a second, he can only think to grip the bottle tightly so it won’t burst and spill its contents over the entire floor as he stumbles, then he feels arms wrap around him. Rather than finding himself on the ground, he finds himself held up by North’s embrace. His arms steady Sonic’s back as North pulls him back up.
Once they stand, North’s hands linger on Sonic’s back a little longer rather than letting him go.In fact,his arms tighten around Sonic. North’s concerned gaze wanders over Sonic’s face and for those few seconds, Sonic feels like he’s set on fire. He can’t tear his eyes away from North’s, it’s like they’re magnetic. Sonic barely registers when the bottle slips from his hand, too engrossed in the perfect combination ofcoloursthat make up North’s iris. It’s only when North’s pelvis connects with his own that he registers that North just saved the bottle for a second time. If he hadn’t caught it between their bodies it would’ve broken into a million pieces.
It is also at that moment that Sonic notices how close they truly are. Physically affection between the two of them isn’t unusual or rare, yet that moment felt like no other. Perhaps it is the intimacy of the situation or the intense eye contact they shared, perhaps it’s the late hour, but Sonic wants nothing more than to close the last distance between them. There is no moment when he doesn’t want to kiss North but at that very moment, he feels like he’ll burst into flames if the coolness of North doesn’t put the heat out.
Northevidentlynotices thecloseproximity as wellashe grabs the bottle and takes a step back. He clears his throat before turning around and putting the bottle back in the fridge. It’s very clear to Sonic that North looks just about everywhere where Sonic isn’t. “We should”, North starts, still looking around helplessly, “get going. It’s quite late and there’s nothing more we can do.” Reluctantly, Sonic agrees.
The ride home is quiet and awkward. Usually, neither North nor Sonic have a problem with filling in the silence and they’re no strangers to spending time together quietly either, but this time it feels like they’re both searching for the opening to start a conversation which neither finds. It’s tense and so unlike everything Sonic knows the time with North to be. Their shared momentclearlyis still present in both of their minds. Nothing happened, yet it feels like everything did.
_____
The following day North, Sonic, Alan, Babe, Jeff, Charlie, and Pete meet up at the garage to make some last-minute preparations. Kenta has been strictly instructed to not let Kim come to the garage until 3 pm, which he happily agreed to. Sonic’s just glad that they’re not like Babe and Charlie or else he truly wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them alone in the house for hours. There are only so many times they can sanitize the surfaces around the house after all.
When Sonic places the rum on the table he can’t help but be reminded of yesterday’s situation. Blood shoots up in his cheeks immediately and the familiar heat makes itself comfortable under his skin. He tries to subtly look for North, however his friend is eagerly chatting with Charlie by the boxes. The question about the playlist has been discussed for quite a long time and in the end, they settled for creating a joint playlist in which everyone can add theirfavourites. That, however, does not mean that North won’t try to fight anyone who added an, in his opinion, unfitting song. It’s ridiculous and it’s so very North that Sonic can’t help but be endeared.
“Kenta just texted”, Alan calls out to everyone, “they’ll be here in twenty minutes. Is everything ready?” Sonic lets his eyes wander over everything once more before he nods. “Yes, we’re good to go.” They spend the remaining twenty minutes arguing about who gets to hide in which spot and if Babe hiding behind the door is allowed. North argues that it’s too easy while Babe insists that Kim won’t be able to see him when he comes in, which is all that’s needed. In the end, Charlie gets Babe to hide behind a car with him.
They all settle into their hiding spots rather quietly right as the door opens and Kenta pushes Kim inside gently. Immediately, a chorus of “Happy Birthday Kim”serupts, making Kim take a step back right against Kenta. He immediately wraps his arms around Kim’s waist and smiles sheepishly. Once again, Sonic can’t help but think of North. Their position the prior day wasn’t too different, yet entirely unalike. Kenta’s assured in his action, he seems proud and content. North wanted to run from Sonic as if he burnt himself on the flames he set alight in Sonic’s chest.
Upon seeing the genuine joy on Kim’s face, Sonic tries to will the jealousy away. This is Kim’s day, after all, he shouldn’t make it about himself and his pointless feelings. Accompanied by the other members of the team he steps to Kim and wraps him in a hug. “Happy Birthday, I wish you all the best.” Truly, he does. Which is exactly why he refuses to dwell on North any longer and joins the others.
“We prepared a bunch of games”, North beams brightly at Kim, “but of course you get to choose. It’s your birthday after all.” Kim throws his arm over North’s shoulder and Sonic tries not to care. Truly, why should he? It’s a casual touch, one he shares with North all the time. His hug with Kim just a few minutes earlier was far more personal. Truly, Sonic shouldn’t mind it at all. Yet, he does.
“I think Twister would be quite fun”, Kim decides and everyone agrees immediately. Everyone, except Alan, who moans about his suffering bones, and Pete who complains that he’s even older than Alan and doesn’t whine like that. Needless to say, Kim makes them both go first. As expected, neither of them lasts long, although Sonic suspects that Alan gives up quickly on purpose to preserve his precious bones.
Then, Kim makes Kenta, Jeff, Charlie, and Babe go against each other. He doesn’t even show mercy when Kenta eyes the game warily and requests to sit the game out. He truly makes full use of his role asbirthdayboy. Sonic does notice though that Kim manipulates the plate a little bit to give Kenta advantages, which helps him very little against Charlie who eventually wins.
Then, it’s Kim’s, North’s, and Sonic’s turn. It startsoffnormally, Sonic puts his right hand on green and then his left leg on blue. It continuesonlike that for a while with none of the three giving up easily. Only when Sonic places his right hand on a red spot and has to reach under North’s stomach does he notice theirposition.His head is right under North’s chin, their left legs are almost entangled and North’s crotch suddenly presses against the small of his back. He’s too busy trying not to get flustered to even notice that Kim drops out right after. Upon hearing the next command he already knows he’s screwed. North places his left hand on yellow, effectively caging Sonic in his arms. There’s not much Sonic can do, most spots are blocked by North’s limbs and thereby entirely unreachable.
“Sonic, left leg on blue.” It’s close to impossible. His left leg is on green, he’ll have to move it over North’s leg on yellow, which willdefinitelymake him fall. Not seeing another solution, he slowly lifts his leg. He accidentally knocks against North’s leg which shakes both of their positions and Sonic already prepares to lose. What he isn’t prepared for though is North wrapping his arms around Sonic’s middle and throwing them both around. That way, North’s shoulder catches their fall and he’s the first one to touch the ground, thereby losing.
“What are you doing?” Sonic asks, still wrapped in North’s arms. This is the second time this is happening within 24 hours and Sonic certainly isn’t complaining. “Catching you. I couldn’t let you get hurt.” Their friends erupt into multiple cheers alongside a few cooing sounds, yet Sonic can’t bring himself to care. There’s just North’s arms around him and North’s voice in his ear.
That feeling is still lingering in Sonic when they play another few rounds of the game with different partners. They only stop when Charlie keeps trying to kiss Babein order todistract him and win the game.
“I’m gonna get some snacks”, North tells the group and walks over to the buffet. The rest quickly follow him and, to Sonic’s pride, compliment the beautiful arrangement of snacks on the table.
“I’ve got a great idea”, Kim smiles diabolically and picks up a particular snack. It’s a packet of Pocky sticks. “Do you guys know the Pocky game?” Sonic should’ve known this would happen when he picked up the packet which is why he only has himself to blame as he nods apprehensively. Besides him, only North, Babe, and Kim seem to know it.
“It’s pretty straightforward,” Kim starts his explanation which causes North to laugh. “There’s truly nothing straight about anything in this situation.” Kim simply rolls his eyes. “Yes, thank you North. As I was saying, basically two people eat from each end of the stick and the team that has the shortest rest in the end wins.” He grins as his eyes land on Sonic and Sonic truly realizes right there and then why Kim is considered one of the scariest drivers. “North, Sonic, why don’t you start?”
Where Sonic is hesitant, North seems entirely on board with the idea and grabs a stick of the snack from Kim. And then suddenly, North’s face is right in front of him. To be exact, precisely 21.5cm away from him. Sonic opens his mouth as if on autopilot and allows the stick to settle between his teeth as North guides it inside. “I’ll bite, okay?” North’s voice is barely above a whisper, sending chills down Sonic’s spine who simply nods. There’s not much else he can do when North grins as he wraps his lips around the other end of the Pocky stick.
Sonic doesn’t know where to look. There’s no way he can look North in the eyes, especially not when North stares at him as intensely as he is. His gaze wanders down his nose. Good, the nose is safe. Thatis,until North scrunches it adorably as he surpasses the chocolate part of the stick. He looks down even further on North’s lips. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Millimetre aftermillimetreof the stick disappears behind those pink, soft-looking lips. His breath hitches and he can’t look away. There’s nothing he can do besides stand still and await North’s next move. He barely breathes when North’s face gets too close for Sonic to look at his lips.
Without his command Sonic’s eyes close. He doesn’t have to look at North’s captivating eyes, his cute nose, and his incredibly kissable lips anymore. Which is good. It also makes the whole situation feel much more intimate. He can feel the warmth of North’s face against his own now. He forces his eyes open and immediately regrets it. His gaze locks with North’s, the ever-present mischievous glint in his eyes speeding Sonic’s heartbeat up even more.
He can’t hear the cheers of their friends anymore, all he hears is the thumping of his own heart. It’s loud, it’s quick and it’s exhilarating. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. All his senses are tuned into North who’s still inching closer. Time seems to slow down, there can’t be any other explanation as to why this game that usually ends in seconds has been going on for at least an hour now. And then, Sonic feels something warm against his lips.
It takes a split second until Sonic realizes what’s happening. The soft, warm, plush thing that touches his lips is North’s lips. At first, they’re barely grazing Sonic’s but as time goes on, North presses more and more intensely. In a way, this is everything Sonic ever dreamed of. North’s lips against his own, combined in a sweet and gentle kiss. Yet, there’s something incredibly wrong about it, even if Sonic’s brain doesn’t quite register what it is yet.
“Do you think we’ll win?” North whispers as he parts from Sonic. Oh right. It’s a game.
They do end up winning, mainly because Kim forbids the rest to team up with their partners. He doesn’t want to turn it into “another make-out session” and no one in the team is too big on getting so close physically to another person on the team that they’re not dating. Sonic can’t focus on any of it though. His mind is stuck on the kiss which wasn’treallya kiss that he just shared with North. How can something so special to him mean nothing to North? Is North so certain that they can never be anything but friends that he assigns a kiss between them no meaning?
Sonic supposes he should be happy. He always hoped North wouldn't figure his feelings out, after all, it would likely ruin their friendship entirely. This just proves that he was successful. North is many things, but being cruel isn’t one of them. If he knew about Sonic’s feelings he wouldn’t torture him by kissing him. He wouldn’t get his hopes up like that just to crush them.
To Sonic’s relief, the others have the decency to not comment on their kiss. They pretend the earth didn’t just shatter right where Sonic stands. They pretend North didn’t just claw Sonic’s chest open, tear his heart out, and rip it apart. They pretend Sonic didn’t just get all his secret hope crushed.
“I always wanted to play the mafia game”, Alan approves Kim’s request and effectively shakes Sonic out of his thoughts. “This isn’t just any mafia game though. It’s a mix between mafia and werewolf, they’re pretty much the same game anyway.” Kim proceeds to explain that while this game has the same characters as the classical mafia game, meaning mafias, a police officer, and a doctor, this game also has the Eros and the detective.
“Eros creates a couple between two players. When one of them dies, the other does as well. That means if a normal citizen is coupled up with a mafia, they have to get the other players off their trail to protect themselves. It’s the same for the mafia, they have to convince their fellow mafias to not target their partner. The detective is on the same side as the citizens, however, he wakes up with the mafias. He can’t make the mafias know he’s not truly one of them and he has to convince the other citizens of the mafias, all without being caught. He has no power to make decisions, so if there’s one mafia and one detective left and they want to kill a different person than the mafia, the mafia’s vote counts.” After finishing his explanation, Kim looks around for everyone's approval. “Let’s play.”
As the narrator, Kim begins to slowly pace around the team members who are sitting in a circle with their eyes closed. As he walks, he taps everyone on the shoulder to assign them a role. Sonic grins content as he gets assigned the doctor. “For centuries the city has lived in peace and never had to fear anything. In recent days however people keep dying mysteriously. The city has now decided to figure out the culprit. To begin, I ask every player to open their eyes and introduce themselves shortly.” Sonic eyes everyone carefully, keen to find anything that’s off about the team members. Alan’s fingers tremble slightly when he introduces himself as a normal citizen and Babe seems a little less annoyed than usual when they play games.
“The whole city goes to sleep. That means close your eyes, everyone.” Kim continues making his rounds around the circle as he talks and everyone follows his command. “Eros is the first to wake up, open your eyes and point at two players who you wish to make a couple.” Kim hums a few seconds later and instructs Eros to close his eyes again. “I’ll tap the couple on their shoulders now.” Right as Kim says those words, Sonic feels a tap on his shoulder. “They open their eyes, look each other into the eyes and fall in love.”
Sonic follows the command just in time to see North open his eyes as well. What a cruel twist of fate. Looking into North’s eyes has made him fall in love over and over again over the years, time upon time again. It was always his secret, something he never allowed himself to indulge and now he has to twist his very real feelings into thepretenceof a game. He can’t get himself to look away, staring deeply into North’s eyes and his pretend-boyfriendmakes no attemptto change the situation either. Only when Kim calls out to them that they have to close their eyes Sonicis able totear himself away from the enchanting depths of North’s eyes.
Sonic is barely able to focus for the rest of the round. He mindlessly chooses to protect North when his turn as doctor comes and tries to convince himself it’s to preserve his own life. After all, if North gets killed he dies too. He tries not to think about North’s intense stare or the little smirk that decorated his lips when the situation registered.
Once the round is over and Kim announces that Babe is the victim, Sonic feels just a little bit guilty. After all, he could’ve saved him. Mostly, he tries not to get distracted by North. He behaves like he normally does, yet there is something magnetic about him. Something that forces Sonic to let his eyes rest on him any chance he gets. He listens to Charlie accuse Alan and to Alan stammering through adefencethat somehow manages to convince the majority of the players to save him.
When North gets accused of being the mafia in the second round though, Sonic is suddenly focused on the game. Once again, he tries to convince himself it’s not because he wants to help out North but because hehimselfwants to stay in the game longer. “Isn’t it more likely to be Charlie? After all, he accused Alan last round, clearly he wanted him dead.” Charlie just scoffs at Sonic’sdefence. “If I was the mafia I wouldn’t kill my scapegoat right away, I’m not dumb enough to draw attention to myself like that.” Before Sonic can debate internally if he should be offended that Charlie essentially called him dumb Kim moves them on to the voting.
“If you want to kill North, show a thumbs up, if you want to spare him a thumbs down.” Sonic and Pete end up being the only ones with their thumbs down, much to the amusem*nt of the other players. “And with that, North is dead. Since he was dating Sonic, he’s dead as well.” Sonic glares at them all one by one. “Thanks for that, truly.” Once North reveals that he isn’t a mafia, most others groan as well. Sonic isn’t quite sure if he’s only imagining the surprise on Pete’s face or not as it disappears within a split second.
The game continues, yet Sonic can’treallyfocus on it. Seeing that he is eliminated, all he has to do is sit quietly and watch the rest of it progress. Somehow it’s even harder than when he had to focus on every small sound, at least he could close his eyes then. Now they’re open wide and set on North. There’s a small smile on North’s lips as Charlie is revealed to be Eros and couples Pete and Kenta up. His smile becomes wider as Kim glares at Charlie and taps on Pete’s shoulder unhappily. Sonic loves North’s smile. There is no sight in this world that he would rather stare at, no phenomenon that catches his interest more. North catches his eye and his smile changes into a smirk. He seems almost proud, too proud for Sonic’s liking. Does North know that he’s everything that Sonic can think about? Does he have an inkling of the mess he created in Sonic’s heart? Does he know that Sonic can still feel the ghost of North’s lips on his own? Does North know that Sonic longs to be his boyfriend outside of the game as well? Does North know thathe’s in possession ofSonic’s heart?
He can barely pay attention to the mafia killing Jeff, Pete getting eliminated and exposed as mafia, or to Charlie getting killed, which secures Kenta his win as the last living mafia. Everything that happens simply registers in Sonic’s mind as an expression on North’s face.
“You’re welcome”, Charlie whispers to Sonic as everyone gets up and scatters around the garage. The games have taken up quite a long time which is why everyone’s filling their plates up with food and the first bottles of alcohol get opened. Soon enough, everyone stands with their respective partner, North chatting with Pete and Sonic has the sudden urge to leave.
He grabs his bottle of beer and silently steps outside. It’s not that he feels uncomfortable inside, they are his pack members after all, it’s simply that watching North is slowly killing him. North has been thecentreof his world for such a long time that he barely knows how to exist outside of it anymore, all while North fluctuates between their packmates.
“Hi, boyfriend.” A familiar voice shakes him out of his thoughts. Sonic would recognize North’s voice anywhere but the words this voice speaks make no sense. Boyfriend? North must have realized his confusion as he breaks into laughter and shakes his head. “The game. Did you forget already? I’m hurt.” Of course, he’s talking about the game. What else could he possibly talk about? Sonic just chuckles and nods. “Of course, boyfriend.” Oh how badly it hurts. His deepest desire is a joke to North, always has been.
“Are you okay?” The question catches Sonic off guard, but he quickly nods andforcesa smile on his face. “Of course I am. It’s a great party, we did well.” It’s certainly not a lie, the entire pack is visibly enjoying themselves and Kim seems to be ecstatic that this is his birthday party. “Then why are you out here? You never want to be away from the drama.” He wishes he could be miles away from the drama in his life.
“I just needed some air. Everyone seemed fine without me so I figured it’d be fine.” Sadness coats North’s eyes and he takes a step closer to Sonic. “You could’ve told me. I’m never fine without you by my side.” Sonic knows it’s more likely than not a joke, but North sounds so sincere it hurts.
“Don’t do this to me. Not now”, Sonic mumbles but allows North to wrap his arms around Sonic’s upper body. “What are you talking about?” The usual mischief is gone from his voice, instead it is softer than anything Sonic has ever heard from North. “I’m not in the mood for your jokes.”
“Nothing I just said was a joke, Sonic. Have I ever made you feel like I don’t genuinely care for you?” Sonic wishes he could remove the sadness from North’s voice. He starts to hate himself a little for putting it there in the first place. “I know you care. I just can’t take your boyfriend jokes right now.” Sonic realizes exactly what he’s said only after the words have already left his mouth. There’s no way to take them back now. There’s no way to guard his secret any longer now.
“I’m sorry”, North says quietly as he takes a step back. This is exactly what Sonic should want, yet it feels so incredibly wrong. He wants North close, he wants to feel North’s warmth surrounding him and he wants to feel the safety of North’s care. “Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did. Clearly I upset you which is the last thing I want. I have no right to upset you and I regret what I did. I shouldn’t have.” What do you regret, North? The question lies heavy on Sonic’s tongue, yet he can’t get himself to ask. Too much is at stake. “There’s nothing you should regret.” Is there even any point hiding it more? North must have figured everything out by now. There is no way North who knows him better than anyone doesn’t know yet.
“You don’t feel the same way about me as I do about you. It’s okay.” The pain is back on North’s face, he looks like someone punched him in the stomach. “I know. I’m sorry.” Sonic knew, didn’t he? There’s no way North could’ve ever returned his feelings. It shouldn’t hurt as badly as it does, he prepared for this moment for years now after all.
“I took advantage of you during the Pocky game. I knew you didn’t feel the same way but I couldn’t contain myself, everything I wanted for months now was right in front of me. I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have. I’ll try and go back to being your friend like I’ve always been.” Wait, what? “What are you talking about?” Nothing makes sense anymore, North’s words barely register in Sonic’s brain. “I know you don’t feel the same way I do and that’s okay. I won’t make you uncomfortable again.”
Oh.
Oh.
Before North can take another step back, Sonic quickly grabs onto his arms. Suddenly, he sees things North hid away, the same things that Sonic tried to bury deep down. The tender, loving smile with which North regards him. The longing eyeswanderingover his face. His quickening breath as they stand close while neither says a word.
Sonic can’t contain himself and surges forward, connecting his lips with North’s. It feels similar to thekissas they played the Pocky game, just so, so much better. There’s no game involved, just the deep running care and love they both have for each other. This time, Sonic doesn’t simply stand still, no, he grips onto North as if he’s his lifeline and puts his all in the kiss. North’s lips feel just as perfect on his as before, even better now that Sonic knows they both want this kiss. Sonic pours all the feelings he has in that desperate connection. The years of longing, of waiting, of wishing, of loving. He bears his soul to North and for once, he isn’t afraid.
_____
“You thought I didn’t like you back?” They’re cuddled up on Sonic’s bed and exchange lazy kisses. North gently pushes a curl of Sonic’s hair behind his ear and lets his hand linger there for a few seconds before leaning forward and connecting their lips again. Sonic’s skin is on fire wherever North’s fingers caress him and North’s lips are like the soothing ice that contradicts the flames. It’s too much, it’s not enough and it’sabsolutelyperfect.
“I tried flirting with you when I first realized I liked you but you never reciprocated”, Sonic admits before shyly letting his hands wander over North’s side and kiss him again. It’s become almost like an addiction. It’s been barely twelve hours since their first real kiss and Sonic can’t get enough of the feeling of North’s lips on his own. “And then when Kim joined you started to spend so much time with him that I thought, well I thought…” North cuts him off with yet another kiss, then a second and a third.
“You thought I liked Kim?” It feels foolish in hindsight, but Sonic nods embarrassed. “I never did. Most of the time I talked to him about you. I told him how funny you are, how gorgeous you are, how you take my breath away. I told him about my desire to kiss you and hold you close.” Sonic’s cheeks heat up and he can feel the blush spreading all over them. “You did?”
“Yeah. You’re too perfect, how was I ever supposed to contain myself? The others have been teasing me about my crush for months now, even before I realized it myself. So when Kim joined I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for me to talk to someone about my crush. I needed to talk about you, Sonic. You were, you are all that’s on my mind.” Sonic hides his face in North’s shirt, too embarrassed and shy to look at him properly. “Same here”, he admits.
“I was so jealous when you started to train with Kim. Not because you became better than me, you always were. I was so proud to see you improve. I was so jealous because you spent so much time with him in that car, because he was able to help you when I couldn’t, because he made you so happy. I wanted to do all those things for you.”
“I was jealous of Kim, too”, Sonic admits. “You laughed so freely with him, he made you happy when I couldn’t, he was always there whenever I searched for you.” North’s hands gently grab Sonic’s cheeks and he detaches Sonic’s face from his shirt, forcing him to face North. “It was always you. It is you and it always will be you. There’s no one else. I wasn’t laughing because of Kim, well, okay, maybe a little, he can be very funny, but mainly because I was telling him about all the things we got up to. You’re my happiness, Sonic. No one else.”
“Are you sure?” North laughs a little, then nods. “As sure as I am that the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, as sure as I am that the stars are high up in the sky, as sure as I am that rains come from the clouds, as sure as I am that a minute is sixty seconds long, as sure as I am that I love you.” This time, their kiss is long and soulful. Their lips are pressed together, they barely move, they simply stay together and assure each other of their affection.
If North’s lips on his didn’t feel so real, Sonic would’ve been sure that he was dreaming. North feels the same way as he does. North has his arms wrapped around Sonic, keeping him close. North loves him.
“I love you. I have since I met you”, Sonic whispers as soon as they part. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, stars are high up in the sky, the rain comes from the clouds,aminute is sixty seconds long, Sonic loves North.
_____
“Sonic?” They haven’t left Sonic's bed all day except to use the toilet and eat something. They have shared more kisses than either can count, they have laid in each other’s arms, they have breathed each other’s air and they have talked. They talked about their feelings for each other, their history, their love, everything. Everything but the future.
It’s easy to talk about the past. It’s filled with happy memories, with things they have gone through, with things they have shared. It’s easy to talk about their feelings as they’ve both kept them inside for far too long. They’ve been threatening to spill over and now that the floodgates are open, there’s no closing them. Sonic could’ve drowned in North’s admissions if his love didn’t keep him afloat. But the future? The future that’s filled with uncertainty and fear? The future that neither of them dare to imagine? The future that they silently beg to share?
“Sonic”, North starts again and Sonic hums as acknowledgment. “Are you happy?” And isn’t that a loaded question? “RIght now? Beyond happy.” It’s true, there’s no place he’d rather be and no person he’d rather spend time with. He longed for North for so long that having him now is beyond mere happiness.
“And in general? You asked me a few days ago if I wanted more in life and it made me wonder if that’s what you want. Are you not happy with what we have?” Secretly, Sonic had hoped that North had long forgotten about that fateful conversation but he should’ve known. He should’ve known that North cares too much about him to let such things go. “I am happy, believe me, North.” Sonic takes a deep breath before opening his mouth once more.
“You know I dreamt of being a racer. I always wanted to be on the track and win over everyone. I wanted to be the top racer. Then when you came along, I wanted to be the top racer with you. I wanted us to be the racer duo everyone admired. I wanted them to be hopeless when they heard they’ll have to race against us because they know they stand no chance. I wanted all that and so much more. I wanted it with you. When that didn’t come true I thought I was okay with it. I was still part of this amazing team, I was still doing things with you, I fell in love with you. I love filming videos with you, please believe me. I never understood Dean’s anger. I thought he was so silly to always want more, even though we shared the same dream. And then I saw the lengths he was willing to go to fulfil the same dream I had. It made me wonder if I should have wanted it like he did. Of course, I would have never gone as far. I never would’ve hurt anyone, you know that. And then he left the team and nothing changed. I was okay, you know? I was okay filming with you and continuing as we were. Then Kim and Charlie joined to replace Dean and Way and I still didn’t mind. It made me wonder what Dean would’ve done if they came to replace us. I know they’re far better than we are and I didn’t exactly expect us to get moved up. But it made me wonder if I should’ve wanted that. Dean would’ve wanted that and deep down, I share a dream with him. And then I trained with Kim and I improved and it made me realize how much I love racing still. It’s still the same sport I always loved and I still want to race. But I also want to make videos with you and do everything with you like we always have. I still crave to race but I would give it up for you in a heartbeat.”
“I would never ask that of you”, North replies immediately once Sonic finishes his story. And he knows. Deep down he knows. “I don’t think it’s possible to have both”, Sonic admits silently. “What makes you think that?” North seems genuinely surprised and curious, maybe even a tiny bit hurt. “Your dream changed, you said so yourself. Mine hasn’t. Not quite.”
“My dream hasn’t changed all that much. My dream was to be successful with you and I thought that would mean to be a racer duo. When it turned out that we aced creating videos together, my dream adapted. It was always doing things with you. I still love racing. I love making videos. But most importantly, I love doing things with you. You’re my dream, Sonic.” Overwhelmed by emotions, a tiny tear starts to run down Sonic’s cheek. It’s all too much. One can only feel so many things in a day before they start to crack. Immediately, North reaches his hand out and gently wipes the tear away. Then he presses tiny little butterfly kisses over the wet trail.
“What if it didn’t have to be one or the other? What if we could race more and still make our videos?” Sonic takes North’s hand in his own, brings it up to his lips, and presses a kiss on each of North’s knuckles. “I hadn’t considered that. I didn’t think I could have both when one of them is already too good to be true.”
“It doesn’t have to be. You deserve nothing but the best, you know that, right? If it was the best thing for you the earth would have to stop spinning and stop in its track around the sun. There is nothing that can’t be done for you. There’s nothing that shouldn’t be done for you. If that’s what you want I will march down that floor and ask P’Alan right this second to schedule a race for you.” Sonic knows that North is in no way exaggerating so he just laughs and wraps his around North. “Stay right here. Stay with me, please?”
“Always.” The future is terrifying yet nothing about North’s nod and certain affirmation scares Sonic. Sonic doesn’t know if he’ll get to race again, he doesn’t know if he’ll get to race with North again, he doesn’t know if they’ll continue to film videos exclusively. But he knows that he’ll do anything that the future has in store for him together with North.
Mountains can rise and oceans can dry up, empires can grow and fall, fires can light up and be kindled, stars can be created and burst, heaven can move and the gates to hell can open, the North Pole can end up being South, penguins, and ice bears can become friends, queens can be crowned and kings can abdicate,daycan become night, Sonic can become a racer again, Babe can give racing up, Kenta can heal from Tony’s treatment, Jeff can finish his degree, Alan can adopt too many children, Pete can become a set part of the pack, Charlie can take over Babe’s title as King of the Hallow, North can go back to study filmmaking, Kim can cut ties with his family in Korea, everything can change but one thing is for certain. North will always have Sonic. Sonic will always have North. It’s North and Sonic against the world.
